I have been planning on writing a journal for a while, but unfortunately it’s not going to be as…light.
Everything’s kinda been piling on at once. I’m not quite certain if I can deal with it anymore.
I have been working on new art, it’ll be up soon. Promise. This includes requests, commissions, and trades, among other things.
Been trying to write, getting a few good things that quickly die away, so that’s not going too well.
Had finals a few weeks ago. Managed to get all A’s minus a C+ in AP Statistics. Ugh. Math.
Christmas vacation started yesterday. I have the next two weeks off, which I’m glad for, because it couldn’t have come at a better time.
Now onto the… more somber aspects of this journal.
I went to a funeral this morning for a kid I never knew. He went to my church, and helped my dad with the lighting for some of the plays. Evidently, he was a really nice kid, and everything was going pretty great. He killed himself on Monday. He had just turned 19 a week and a half before.
It was sad, of course. Funerals usually are. And it kinda felt…wrong for me to be there, since I honestly didn’t remember him, seeing as how I’d probably only ever seen him once or twice, and never said two words to him.
Then I was hoping today would get better. It did for a bit. Waters of Mars, the new Doctor Who Special, one of David Tennant’s last as the Doctor, aired on BBC America today, so I saw that. It was actually really good. I loved it. Not just because I find Mr. Tennant hotter than the fourth of July, either. There was so much… vitality. It didn’t even focus on the plotline so much. It didn’t need to. It was all about the Doctor as he reaches his boiling point, and how he copes. I thought it was probably one of the greatest episodes I’ve ever seen. Really out of the box, and just great stuff in general. And it does help that David Tennant is brilliant. He puts so much into that character, and into every role he does; It's just...amazing to observe, to be honest. He's an amazing actor. No one can doubt that.
And I was really looking forward to having that evening, just checking it out, then chilling with ~
tsukikari9 who came over to watch it with me. Not the case.
About 45 minutes before the show starts, we get a call from my aunt, my dad’s sister. She’s up north visiting my grandpa for the holidays. And she can’t wake him up. He’s not breathing.
She called 911, and we waited for any news. We got some around 8.00. My grandfather died. Three days before my mother’s father died, almost seven years prior.
I’m not quite certain how to feel. I mean, I’m sad, of course, because he was my grandpa, and I cared about him and he’s gone, but we were never very close. I never knew what to say to him, and I think he felt the same about me. At the moment, the closest I can describe how I’m dealing is…empty. Empty, and tired. Like…I should give up. I won’t of course. I have too much to do that’s important, so I’ll muddle through, like always. But…just right now, I want to just…shut everything away. Because it seems like that’s the answer.
I talked to a lot of people. I called my brother and told him, then spoke to some friends, like ~
Puremomo, ~
crystalAlluvion, ~
Mad-March, and *
lunar-bandit. I appreciate all of your kind words, but I especially want to thank Ri.
Riri, I know you have been going through so much right now, through so many things that I won’t put here, because it’s not for me to say. And yet, with all that’s happened, you still find a way to come and help me. You’ve so selflessly bought me a subscription every year for the past three years, even when it wasn’t financially sound for you to do so. I love you. I really do. And if I could have anyone for a sister-figure, I’m glad it’s you. You said that I can talk to you, always, no matter what the time, and you’ll always be there, just to listen. I extend that same offer to you. If you ever need me, just call me, text me, IM me, note me. Anything. I will be there for you. So…thank you. For everything. Forever.
Andi still came over. She gave me a hug and helped distract my mind from all that had been happening. We managed to have a good time, which was nice, and I needed. So thanks to you too, Andi, for coming to see me, even though the roads suck. I love you too.
So I’m not quite sure what to do with myself. I’m going to be home alone for the next three days while my parents drive up to my grandpa’s house to get everything in order. They’ll hopefully be back Tuesday evening/Wednesday morning, so I’ve got all that time to think of something to do.
I’m sorry. I really am so sorry. I know there is no point in me putting this up, you guys don’t wanna hear about my problems, ha. But I just…needed to get this out of system. I needed to get it to somewhere people could see. Because maybe I’m lucky, and some of you care about me as more than just a decent artist, whose pictures you like. And if not, then I’m sorry for wasting your time and thank you for being patient with me.
I’ll try to write something else that’s a little happier in the next day or two. Just to get this off of my page.
~BK
Christmas Gift Sign-Up:1-
- Caleb/Santos or SuFin
2-
- ???
3-
- Her holding a giant heart over her head
4-
- Aixlana and Blanca's first meeting (lawl)
5-
- Fluffy Fallon/Orla
6- :icontsukikati9: - MYSTERY PRESENT
7- Minion - Zack/Aerith
8-
- Serena and Rachel picking on Delsus
The List: SPACES FULL1-
- Tenzy-Kitty
2-
- Blanca/Kyouretsu
3-
- FistLad
4-
- Fluffy Sora/Mina
5-
- Her OC Kexla poking/generally bothering her other OC, Devinx
6-
- "sexy" vampire!her with Eric Northman from True Blood
7-
- Her OC Llexnie
8-
- Her OC Xijia and ~
InuYashaManiac's OC Caixto, in Flapjack!style shouting 'ADVENTURE'
9-
- Her OC Loxarchette
10-
- Her OC Gia and Gin from Rosario+ Vampire
Current Trades:1-
- Her gaia avi
2-
- Her fursona
3-
- My OC Aixlana and her OC Maix yelling at her other OC, Maxi
4-
- Sessh/Inu cuddles
5-
-
WIPs for other people:1-
- Surprise giftart ;D
Current Commissions:1- Cloud/Leon (black and white) for
2- 5 sketch sheet (color) consisting of: Shuu (OC) and Vian (OC), kissing; Troi (OC) and Hina(OC), kissing on a roof; AkuRoku eating sea salt ice cream and sitting on Cloud (Strife) who is on a cloud. (xD); Marly/Vexen VINE RAEP; and Axel and Marly drunk and flirting with their blondes for
3- Naxyr picking on "big"(lawl) brother Zexion (full color) for
4- Naxyr punching Axel and Repliku in their FACES (full color) for
5- Her and Edward Cullen with ~
InuYashaManiac in the background (4-panel comic page) for
COMMISSION PRICES:- 1 pencil sketch, shaded = $0.50
- An entire pencil sketch sheet, shaded from 3-10 sketches per sheet = $0.75 - $2.00
- An entire pencil sketch sheet, colored from 3-10 sketches per sheet = $1.00-$4.00
- Full sketch, inked, in black and white = $2.00
- Full sketch bust shots, whether black and white, pencil shaded, or colored = $3.00
- Full sketch, inked, colored = $5.00
- Comic pages, whether black and white, pencil shaded, or colored = $6.00 per page.
- Digital sketch, Black and white = $7.00
-Digital sketch sheet, with 3-10 sketches, black and white = $7.50 - $9.00
-Digital sketch sheet with 3-10 sketches, colored = $9.00 -$10.50
-Digital sketch, colored =$10.00
-Digital sketch, colored, with more than 4 characters = $10.00 + $0.50 per each additional character.
The Post-Christmas Journal~ 
Jolly
Sarcastic
APER OR PLASTIC, MA'AM?” D;
